When “Trying Harder” isn’t Enough
You can accomplish anything if you’ll just put your mind to it and work hard enough. How many times have you heard that one?!
Yea, me too—a few too many times. Which wouldn’t be so bad if it were actually good advice.
I’m not saying the statement isn’t true, because I’ve proven that if you work hard enough you’ll achieve incredible things. What I am saying is that it isn’t always good advice.
What are we working harder for?
Sometimes the things that we think we want aren’t really in our best interest. Perhaps we aren’t meant to pursue the most challenging profession. Or sometimes we don’t really need the bigger house, the corner office, or the extra degree.
It reminds of the phrase, “no pain, no gain”. A phrase that I now know is utterly untrue.
There is nothing wrong with working hard. However, there is something wrong with working hard to the point of sacrificing yourself and believing yourself to be a martyr…Because this ALWAYS stems from a lack of self-love. I know because unfortunately, this was ME for many years.
Oftentimes we are pursuing things outside ourselves as a way to feel good about ourselves. As a means of validating our existence, or qualifying ourselves as worthy, valuable, or in some way meaningful. This external pursuit for internal reward is common and dangerous. Yet it is perpetuated particularly in a culture where capitalism requires the continuous consumption of goods and resources. But what if this isn’t good for us or for our society or for our precious planet?
The Pursuit of More is Killing Us.
You see, I know all too well how we can get caught up in the pursuit of more. More degrees, more clothes, more shoes, more cars, more, more, more of everything and anything. Why this incessant pursuit of more? You see it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle because the more you try to fill your inner spaces with outer goods you actually feel more hollow. The gap between what you want to experience and what you actually experience is widening. And so to feel better now you may have tricked yourself into thinking you need a bigger accomplishment, a nicer car, a bigger house, and THEN you will prove that you are ok, that you are worthy of love and all good things. This is a commonly shared habit of thought and behavior—so if you can see it in yourself then be kind to yourself and know you’re in good company here!
You can’t fill your inner void with any of those degrees, awards, promotions, purchases, or accomplishments. In fact, once you try to do so you soon realize a feeling of hollowness, worse than you ever had before.
Want to know why?
It’s because you can’t fill what’s within from what’s without. You have to go within to nourish from the inside out. And once you do…the outside circumstances will actually sort themselves out with greater ease. There is less effort, less forcing circumstances. You realize you never had to try harder.
No, in fact what you needed was to ease up a bit and take time to really care for yourself and your life. What you need is to discover what love really is, what unconditional love really feels like. What you truly want is to settle into your own skin and know that you are worthy beyond measure simply because you exist. What I know is that when I finally knew that I was loved, when I finally knew that I belonged to me, when I finally knew that I couldn’t be more worthy of all good things…when I finally knew that without a shadow of a doubt, my WHOLE life changed and it continues to amaze and delight me.
This can be you too, and eventually it will be! But there’s no need to take the long road home. If you’re looking for permission to live fully and boldly and confidently, here it is! Stress Mastery Academy is designed to help you nourish yourself from within, so you can manifest your desires and simply put, LOVE your life!
It’s your birthright, after all.
ALL the Love,
Dr. Tami
