Get Out There!
Have you been telling yourself that you will FINALLY do that thing you’ve been wanting to do?
Are you screaming at yourself, “Get out there! It’s time to do this thing!” But you just can’t muster up the action that you need to propel yourself forward? Perhaps whenever you consider moving forward you immediately generate a list of all the obstacles, challenges, barriers and then you convince yourself that THAT just seems to daunting or like too much work or perhaps it’s already a failure in your mind so you scratch it all. Until the next time the ideas start rising again—and then you stuff it down all over again?
I’ve been there!
In fact, it wasn’t that long ago I had been telling myself to get a website together, to expand my coaching practice with small-group offerings, to offer more workshops, and begin writing a book. Yes, I had and have BIG dreams! Well, today I am actually doing ALL of those things. I’m not the only one with dreams. We both know you have dreams for yourself too. What holds you back?
I finally made moves in the direction of my dreams when I found the skills and means of mastering my mind. I teach these skills and practices because they’ve absolutely changed my life.
To be transparent and honest, despite how horrible and tortuous it was, I had been stagnant for years. I had been paralyzed in my need to know everything, my obsession with perfectionism, my fear of failure, I mean I was a mess!
So, how did I overcome the paralysis that plagued me for years? I started practicing self-acceptance, self-allowance, and self-compassion. These skills expand on mindfulness by emphasizing kindness while acknowledging our commonly shared humanity. We are all plagued by fear, doubt, and indecision. Each and every one of us. Ahhh (breathing deeply)—that is comforting to know, isn’t it?! It is truly part of the human condition, it’s just another thing that intimately unites us with our fellow humans. We all experience fear, we feel we need to be control and we all suffer from self-doubt.
The difference between paralysis and action is in how we relate to ourselves when we experience fear, doubt and indecision. Are we able to witness it with open, warm, and non-judgmental awareness?
When we do this a subtle yet seismic shift happens in our ability to act. We create a small gap, a little space between our fear and ourselves. We create space between our intellectual, thinking mind and the seat of intuition or intelligence that is deep within.
What idea keeps coming up for you? What thing keeps nudging its way forth? Is there something within that’s telling you to just “get out there already?” That little idea or thing that keeps popping up for you—well, that’s your deeper intuition calling forth your gifts. Your inner being KNOWS exactly what gifts you need to bring forth to honor your own life and to help others honor theirs. That’s why it keeps coming up for you (despite your efforts to stuff it back down. Don’t worry, I’ve been there and done that! It’s so exhausting, isn’t it?!
Chances are, if you’re anything like me, it will just keep coming up for you until you honor it and take action on it. In my experience it will JUST KEEP COMING UP despite my every effort to ignore it or avoid it. What self-torture and agony!
The good news is even the slightest action in the direction your intuition is guiding you towards will feel so good! Recognize this, honor it, and in time you will learn that there is no substitute for how good aligned action is and you will discover more inspiration and intuitive guidance shows up for you.
All too often, what holds us back is our need to know the outcome. Our need to control situations. Our addiction to self-criticism and self-blame doesn’t help matters. In fact, it makes for a disastrous time of things. This inner conflict and struggle is simply misalignment and confusion. It is easy to clear, but takes practice and time. It begins with an intention to surrender control, surrender the need to know, and surrender the self-criticism and self-blame. Please, do yourself a favor, give it all up. If that old approach was working you woulda made moves already.
Instead, try kindness, warmth, friendship, support, and love for yourself. I know this sounds radical. How could this work? Well, I often refer back to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Self-Actualization. You see, self-actualization is our ability to live our greatest lives. It means we are fulfilling our highest-self. Guess what you need in order to get there? Psychological safety.
So ask yourself, “Am I a safe place for myself?” Seriously sit and ask yourself this. Maybe ask a few times. The truth will show itself if you are willing to hear it.
If you want help in learning how to practice psychological safety, self-kindness, self-compassion and self-love, check out Stress Mastery Academy or apply to work with me 1-on-1… You deserve support on this journey and I’m honored to support you in any way I can. It takes courage and strength to embark on this inner journey of transformation and no one can nor need do it alone.
ALL the Love,
Dr. Tami
